I remember the exact moment I almost lost one of the biggest deals of my career early on. 

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The borrower was qualified, committed, and we had everything lined up for a jumbo loan that would have earned me a $10k commission.

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Everything looked great on paper.

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But in the middle of one of our follow-up preapproval maintenance calls, the spouse (who was not on the application) said something in passing about the cash-to-close:

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“I’m just nervous… this is a lot of money. We’ve never bought at this price point before.”

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I nodded, smiled, and went right into explaining rates and payments.

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Ugh, even typing the memory of that moment here for you makes me cringe!

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How could I have been so insensitive? 

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I heard the words… 

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But I didn’t actually listen.

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She wasn’t asking for payment numbers or clarification on rates. 

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She was asking for reassurance.

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She (and her husband) were inviting me into a bigger emotional conversation -- one that would’ve allowed me to show up as a true guide, not just a loan provider.

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And I missed it.

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I was so locked in on execution, I ignored the emotion.

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A few days later, the husband emailed and said, 

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“Hey Amir, we’ve decided to hold off. Thanks for your help.”

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I panicked. Called immediately. And finally got them to open up.

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They were overwhelmed. 

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Scared. 

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And unsure if anyone on the transaction team actually cared.

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That call saved the deal, because I slowed down, and put in play what my friend, Chris Smith, and Author of “The Conversion Code” calls: “dig deep or go to sleep”. 

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But it never should’ve gotten that far.

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What I’ve learned since then is this:

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Deals are sometimes not lost because of math.

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They’re lost because we miss the moment that matters.

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Emotional cues matter.

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And we can uncover them proactively by having strategic verbal “pulse checks”:

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“...how are you feeling thus far about all the numbers? I know it’s a lot and things can move fast, but I want you to feel good about everything.”

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“...let’s take a quick pause for a second: do you have any questions, comments, concerns or thoughts about any of these numbers thus far?” [pause, listen, sit on your hands]

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So next time any key stakeholder on the loan says: 

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“I’m nervous.”

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“This is a big step for us.”

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“We’re still deciding…”

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Don’t bulldoze past it.

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Slow down. 

Acknowledge. 

Coach.

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Listen to the whispers, because if not, they’ll be the screams later.

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Because your ability to hold space for doubt might be the exact thing that seals the deal.

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Be a Loan ADVISOR before you are a Loan Officer.

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