I used to think a “dead deal” meant something went wrong with the rate, the docs, or underwriting.

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But the more I looked at the patterns, the more I realized:

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Most deals don’t die at the end.

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They die in the first conversation.

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The real threat inside your pipeline isn’t bad credit, higher rates or poor timing.

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It’s bad discovery.

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It’s rushing to prequalify someone because they “seem ready.”

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It’s quoting a rate because you can, not because you should.

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It’s assuming that the borrower’s questions = their actual concerns.

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Let me tell you where this hit me hardest.

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I had a borrower come in hot -- ready to buy, docs prepped, serious urgency.

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We flew through the app, ran numbers, and I got them preapproved in 24 hours.

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But right before we were about to lock… they ghosted.

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Gone.

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Two weeks later, I finally got them on the phone and they said this:

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“It just all moved so fast. We weren’t sure it was the right time. You were great -- but it felt like we couldn’t slow it down.”

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That hit me.

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Because they didn’t ghost because I did something wrong.

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They ghosted because I didn’t create space for them to process.

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I never asked them:

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“What are your biggest concerns about this decision?”

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“Is there anything you need more clarity on before we move forward?”

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“Do you feel ready -- or are you feeling rushed?”

“Have you gone through the pre-approval process with any other lenders before? If so, what was your experience like, did you walk away feeling wowed?”

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“Do you feel comfortable with this price point and monthly payment?” 

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That’s the kind of guidance and understanding people really want.

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And most LOs miss the opportunity entirely.

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Here’s the takeaway:

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👉 Slow down (pay attention to your vocal impressions)

👉 Ask deeper question (“disco dance”)

👉 Listen for uncertainty (the whispers are future screams)

👉 Lead with empathy, not urgency (detach from the outcome)

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You’ll close more deals, keep more clients, and build way more trust.

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