45 lessons I’ve learned at 45

Yesterday, I turned 45 years old (but my Whoop band age is 41, lol).

I took some time to think about my life lessons that have made a major impact on me.

Much of this has been given to me by parents, mentors, teachers, therapists, coaches and friends.

These are powerful guiding principles for me.

45 Lessons at 45:

RELATIONSHIPS & LOYALTY

1. If your friend is friends with your haters, he's not your friend.
2. Your significant other is your most significant person, choose wisely.
3. People are either takers, matchers, or givers: be quick to spot the takers disguised as givers.
4. Treat people fairly with your time, but not equally.
5. Loyalty is tested in your losses.
6. Your inner circle can become an oval, dragging you down. You may outgrow them.
7. Social media is a loyalty detector: check who celebrates your wins, who stays quiet during losses, and who only shows up to watch you fall.
8. If you love someone, you "care-front" them with hard conversations at the right time, with the right tone.
9. Always give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
10. You can't spell friend without "end": you will outgrow people.
11. Relationships are the greatest resource.

PERSONAL MINDSET & CHARACTER

1. If you take too many things personally, you have too much time on your hands.
2. If you are not getting better every day, you will get bitter one day.
3. When you win, give credit. When you lose, take all the credit.
4. Be confident when working, and humble when winning.
5. Nice guys finish last, but good guys finish first.
6. Yes, it's important to be known, liked, and trusted, but you'll need to also be disliked.
7. Look behind people's masks: most have ulterior motives.
8. If you haven't asked for advice in the last 30 days, you're either arrogant or irrelevant.
9. The number one sign of low intelligence is arguing with people online.
10. Who you are personally is who you are professionally.

LEARNING & GROWTH

1. Your overpriced college degree doesn't mean anything anymore (in most cases).
2. If you can't teach yourself, you're unemployable in 2026.
3. Learning without application is entertainment, not education.
4. Read books written by practitioners, not theorists.
5. It is what you learn AFTER you "know it all" that counts.
6. Most people's advice is superior to their actions.
7. What we learn with fun, we never forget.
8. If you're not the dumbest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
9. Never take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with.

CONSISTENCY & EXECUTION

1. It's very hard to lose if you're consistent.
2. Consistency is the truest form of high performance.
3. The dumbest person in the room is the smartest person in the room.
4. At the end of the day is how you start your day - protect the last and first hour of each day.
5. Greatness is not built in a day, but daily.

CAREER & BUSINESS

1. Being seen online before you're known, liked, and trusted is a cheat code to success.
2. Networking doesn't work if you're not worth networking with.
3. Calling people "spontaneously" to simply connect and not ask for anything is rare, and exactly why it works.
4. Your prospects are a product of you: the higher quality you are, the higher quality they are.
5. If you can help others win personally, they'll help you win professionally.
6. The power of the right room can change the trajectory of your life.

LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE

1. Leadership is caught, not taught.
2. People's micro-reactions reveal their macro intentions. Pay attention.
3. Leave every person feeling better about themselves.
4. If you're too big to follow, you're too small to lead.

I hope one of these impacts you.

Cheers to 45!

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