How I Convince Realtors to Only Refer Me

I don’t know what angers me more:

When a Realtor refers me alongside two other lenders, or calls me a vendor?

But if they’re referring me alongside two (or more) lenders, I am technically a vendor in their mind, right?

I’m sure you feel the same way.

So let’s help you change that.

Here’s how I’ve educated and convinced most of my Realtor partners to ONLY refer me (and not alongside multiple lenders).

(Warning: what I am sharing with you here will give you an unfair advantage)

At the onset of all your Initial Loan Consultations (after some standard pleasantries), ask this simple question to understand how you were actually referred:

“...Mr. Borrower, I know that [Jane the Realtor] connected us. How do you know Jane?”

Pause, listen.

“...very cool, I love working with Jane, it takes a lot of dedication and skill to be a good Realtor, and I’m happy you’re working with her.

And how did my name come up?”

This is VERY IMPORTANT and will give you great insights into what’s called the “transfer of trust”.

You’ll directly understand exactly how strong (or weak) you were referred.

And if you did uncover that you were referred to alongside multiple lenders, you’ll need to have an “awkward-to-awesome” conversation with the referring Realtor.

And before I give you the proper talk track, just remember:

…most of these Agents/Realtors have never been properly trained on how to refer their partners.

I start BIG.

Begin In Gratitude.

“Hey [Realtor], as always, thank you for keeping me top of mind.

The [Jones] referral is much appreciated. I know when you refer a buyer, you’re trusting me with both your reputation and your revenue, and I never take that lightly.”

Pause.

Let that land.

Here’s why this matters:

When someone feels seen and appreciated first, difficult conversations become way easier, smoother, and more productive.

Gratitude lowers defenses.

It turns what could feel like a correction into a collaboration.

From there, move here:

“I’ve found that the more choreographed our process is, the better the experience is for the homebuyer, which will result in more referrals for us.

I want to be fully aligned with you. Would you mind if I asked a few questions to better understand how you conduct your initial buyer consultation?”

People's favorite radio station is WIIFM.

What’s In It For Me?

When you state that you can get the Agent more referrals, they will listen to what you have to say.

And by asking first, you will increase the probability they’ll take your advice.

Bad salespeople tell. Good salespeople ask.

The bad ones give advice before they earn the right to give it.

“...excellent! What happens when you connect with a new homebuyer referral? What typically happens at the onset of your meetings?”

Brace yourself because you’ll see how BAD most Agents are in their “process” of onboarding newly referred buyers.

“...out of curiosity, how do you uncover if your homebuyer needs a preapproval…?”

Listen to how the Realtor actually uncovers this need.

Most Realtors will flat-out ask whether their buyer(s) have been preapproved, which is very rude.

The more formal and polite way to ask this question: “Are you purchasing cash or with financing?”

Ask the Realtor for permission for some feedback first before correcting them on this:

“…are you open to some professional feedback?”

“If you were to ask me if I was preapproved yet, it would offend me because it’s assuming that I can’t purchase in cash, so the right question to ask is:

‘Are you purchasing with financing or with cash?”

I promise you that most Realtors will be grateful for that insight, just make sure to deliver it with the right tone so it doesn’t come off condescending.

Moving along:

Once you understand how the Realtor uncovers their respective buyers’ potential financing needs, ask this:

“…how do you refer your go-to lender?”

If they tell you they “refer 3 names,” say this:

“…thanks for sharing all that! The more we understand one another’s processes, the more we can be in sync and deliver a fluid experience to the buyer.

“Before I ask this next question, I want to assure you that it’s not coming from a selfish place. What is the thought process or strategy behind referring 3 lenders?”

Do NOT deviate much from the above script.

Notice how I didn’t say “why do you refer 3 lenders?

The word “why” is triggering and accusatory. Replace it with “what”.

After some understanding of the reasoning, say this:

“Thank you for sharing all that, super helpful. This is always hard for me to say, but it’s actually in your best interest. I just ask that if you don’t exclusively refer me, to not refer me at all…”

The Realtor will definitely be perplexed for a few seconds…

“…here is why Mr./Mrs. Realtor:

When I have a referral for you, I’m not referring you to two other Realtors. I trust you and advocate for you. Your job is already hard enough.

“…plus, when you refer 3 lenders, the homebuyer, especially if they’re a first-timer, gets even more confused by talking to 3 lenders.”

“I just ask that you simply say: ‘Amir is a fantastic lender that will take great care of you and will ensure you are educated, along with providing competitive financing.’

Now, unless they explicitly ask for multiple options, fine, but if not and especially if they’re a new homebuyer, referring them to multiple lenders only confuses them; it’s bad for the overall experience.”

Would you be okay with referring me via a professional email introduction next time you have a homebuyer?

I promise you that more than 50% of the time, this will do the trick.

And guess what you do at the end of EVERY initial borrower consultation?

The last thing you ask the Borrower before ending the consultation is this:

“Mr. Borrower, one last favor from you: as soon as we hang up, would you mind shooting a quick text message to Jane the Realtor about your experience with me? I always want my industry peers to know I took great care of their referrals.”

Why? Because then you ask that same multi-lender referring Realtor this question the next time you connect:

“Hey, by chance, did (Jon the Borrower) give you any feedback on their experience with me compared to the other lenders?”

Boom.

Print this email out, practice it, and GO! Win.

Let’s GO! 🤝

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you!

1. Book a call to speak with one of our advisors about joining the Growth Only Community.
2. Join our Facebook group for Top Producing Modern Loan Officers.
3. Connect with me on social.