I watched a Loan Officer bomb a Realtor meeting

Have you ever watched a couple on their first date?

My wife can spot them immediately and predict whether they're vibing or heading nowhere just by watching their nonverbal cues.

Some dates are painful.

One person's trying way too hard.

The other looks bored out of their mind.

A while back, I was at a Starbucks in Miami on a quiet Tuesday afternoon, waiting for my drink, when I overheard a first "date" between a Realtor and a Loan Officer.

You know how we are as Loan Officers: you could be in the middle of a tornado, but you’ll somehow hear someone say the word “preapproval” or “mortgage” a mile away.

I couldn't help myself.

I sat down nearby to watch how this LO would navigate the meeting.

It was brutal.

He spent way too long in the rapport stage, because that's what inexperienced salespeople (the "nice guys") do.

Then they wonder why they get friend-zoned.

There were almost no discovery questions.

And zero close.

He didn't ask for the business.

He didn't future-frame any value.

He just... talked.

They shook hands.

Exchanged pleasantries.

And that Realtor walked out with zero obligation to ever send him a buyer.

He probably walked back to his car feeling super high that he conducted a great meeting.

I didn't judge that Loan Officer.

Because I was him earlier on in my career.

Aimlessly floating and thinking my charm and personality would get me business.

In fact, I was happy he was even trying.

Most are glued to their desk and hide in their homes like a Unabomber.

But he'd clearly never had proper sales coaching on structured closing frameworks.

Each month, within the GO! Coaching community, we commit to reading one book together.

This month, we're diving into Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and master of tactical empathy. (And yes, he's speaking at GrowthCon in May.)

If you've read the book, you know FBI hostage negotiators don't leave outcomes to chance.

They engineer conversations using specific techniques: mirroring, labeling, calibrated questions, and strategic pauses.

Here's what almost no one talks about: these same techniques are exactly what that LO needed to close the Realtor partnership, right there in that Starbucks.

Not after three more coffees.

Not "when the time is right."

Right then.

Let me show you how.

Buckle up, because when you learn and deploy this, you will be dangerous.

THE CLOSE (Word-for-Word)

You've built rapport.

You’ve done your discovery (hopefully).

You understand what matters to them in a lender partner.

Now here's how you close:

"Jackie, I've enjoyed our time together today, and learning about what is important for you in a lender partner.

As I may have mentioned, I am only looking to bring on one, maybe two, new Agents over the next few months, and I think we can do great things together.

Do you have any reservations about referring me to your next buyer?"

[PAUSE and listen, wait for the “no”]

"Awesome. Well, it seems like you're a person of your word and that you also pride yourself on doing great work.

I want us to create a white-glove experience for your buyers so they refer more people to you.

I've found that this starts with how we speak about one another at the onset of our initial consultations.

Can I share what I plan on saying about you to your new buyers at all my initial loan consultations, and you can tell me if that's okay?"

[Pause. Listen.]

"Within the first few minutes, after I build a little genuine rapport, I always ask how the buyer knows you. Then I plan on saying this:

'I am happy you are working with Jackie. As a top loan advisor nationally, I decided a long time ago to only work with the best and most honest Agents.

Jackie is knowledgeable, patient, and a great negotiator. If she says to walk away from a home, listen to her. And if she says to make an offer on a home, listen to her. She will have your best interest first.'

Does that sound good to you?"

[Pause. Listen.]

"Excellent.

Now, let's walk through your initial buyer consultation process or contact and how you will bring me up as your lender partner."

[Pause. Listen.]

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Well, first off, what didn’t happen:

I didn’t say:

“I really appreciate your time.”

Saying that puts you in an inferior position. Stop it.

Your time is just as important, and YOU are deciding as well whether or not you want to do business with this Realtor.

Never forget that.

Secondly, you created exclusivity:

“I am only taking on 1-2 new Agents in the next few months.”

This shows you’re a high-quality LOprenenuer.

Mirroring: You reflected their language and priorities back to them.

"What is important for you in a lender partner…").

The “No-Oriented” Question:

"Do you have any reservations about referring me to your next buyer?"

“No” is more powerful than “Yes”.

Labeling: You named what you observed about them.

“...you're a person of your word…prides herself on doing great work".

This creates commitment, emotional buy-in and sets up HOW she will refer you.

Calibrated questions:

"Can I share what I plan on saying?"

When she understands how you will edify and exalt her, the chances of her wanting to do the same increase.

The result?

You didn't ask for the partnership.

You engineered it.

You created a framework where they see the value, they hear the commitment, and they naturally reciprocate by explaining how they'll bring you up to their buyers.

That's not luck.

That's structure.

If you’re obsessed like me, you’ll print this, study it and practice it.

This is how you become “BUY-lingual” in English and Sales.

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you!

1. Book a call to speak with one of our advisors about joining the Growth Only Community.
2. Join our Facebook group for Top Producing Modern Loan Officers.
3. Connect with me on social.