The day I told a Realtor 'no' (and why she respected me more)

One time I got a call from a Realtor I'd been trying to work with for months.

She was a solid producer - 30-40 transactions a year - and I really wanted her business.

She said: "Hey Amir, I have a buyer who needs to close in 10 days. Can you make it happen?"

Old me would've said: "Absolutely! I'll make it work."

But something felt off, so I asked: "What's the situation? Why such a tight timeline?"

She said: "Honestly, they've been working with another lender for three weeks, but he just told them he can't get it done. I need someone who can save this deal."

Red flag (for the client and the Realtor, strange she didn’t catch onto that but that’s a story for another day).

I asked: "Do you know why the other lender couldn't close it?"

She paused. "Not really. The buyer just said it 'wasn't working out.'"

Here's what I said next, and it changed our entire relationship:

“Thank you for thinking of me. Before I promise anything, I need to have a conversation with these buyers to really dig in, please connect me, and I just ask that you fully trust my feedback on whether or not this can get done and to get done in 10 days.”

She was impressed.

Then she said: "I respect that and it really frustrated me to find all this out from this lender my buyers were adamant about using and you’ve been knocking on my door for months so let’s see what you can do.” ?"

After I connected with the buyer, we quickly realized she was separated from her spouse and their divorce was initiated, but not finalized, and there was no court ordered separation agreement.

Long story short: the other lender didn’t even pick up on the fact that the 1003 was marked “separated”.

I called the Realtor right away and told her the situation and that if anyone said they could get the deal done, they’d be lying.

Then she said something I'll never forget:

"I've had 3 lenders tell me they could close that deal in 10 days. You're the only one who told me the truth. I respect that. I'm sending you my next buyer, and I'm going to actually set you up for success this time."

Three weeks later, she sent me a well-qualified buyer with a 21-day closing timeline. We closed it without a hitch.

Over the next year, she sent me another 5-6 deals, and we became legitimate partners…

Not because I said yes to everything, but because I said no when it mattered.

Most LOs think the way to win Realtor business is to always say yes.

Be the "yes man." Be the lender who never pushes back.

But that doesn't build respect, it builds a transactional relationship where you're just the vendor who does whatever they're told.

Real partnerships are built on trust, and trust comes from honesty - even when honesty means saying no.

And in case you need a little reminder, here’s when you should tell a Realtor "no":

1. When the timeline is unrealistic and sets everyone up for failure

Don't promise a 15-day close if you know it's going to take more. It's better to lose the deal than blow the relationship.

2. When the buyer is unqualified and you know it won't close

Don't waste everyone's time pretending a deal will work when it won't. Be honest upfront. Honesty saves time.

3. When the request violates your boundaries or standards

If a Realtor asks you to do something that compromises your process or integrity, say no. The right partners will respect it.

The issue is, most LOs are so desperate for Realtor business that they'll say yes to anything, even when it's a terrible idea.

Then the deal falls apart, the Realtor blames them, and the relationship is over anyway.

So do me a favor today.

Think about a request from a Realtor that you said yes to recently, even though you knew it was a bad idea.

What would've happened if I'd been honest and said no?

Chances are, you would've earned more respect than you did by saying yes.

Because here's the truth: Realtors don't need another yes-man lender.

They need a partner who will tell them the truth, even when it's uncomfortable.

Be that person.

Let's GO! 💪

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you!

1. Book a call to speak with one of our advisors about joining the Growth Only Community.
2. Join our Facebook group for Top Producing Modern Loan Officers.
3. Connect with me on social.