You talk too much

Nobody’s going to tell you this because it's uncomfortable, so I will.

The best thing you can do in most conversations, especially in sales, is to be quiet. 

Not because your ideas aren't good or because you don't have value to add.

But because the second you keep talking past the moment where you should've stopped, you tell the room something you didn't mean to say…

That you lack restraint.

And restraint is one of the loudest signals of intelligence you can send.

The most successful people I've been around all share the same trait. 

They don't just know when to talk, they know when to not talk. 

They don't fill silences or over-explain, they just say the thing and let it land.

They don't need to be the last person to make a point in the room.

Most people do the opposite:

They talk to fill space, sound smart, to be included, or because silence feels awkward and they don't know how to sit in it.

I can guarantee that every time you do that, you are making yourself smaller.

Not to mention the more airtime you’re giving yourself = the greater risk you pose in saying something wrong, stupid, or annoying. 

A risk you should not be willing to take in certain rooms around certain people. 

“When words are many, sin is not absent” - Proverbs 10:19

It’s even a famous passage in The Bible. 

Because here's what the smart and successful people are actually doing when you're rambling on and on and on and on…

They're not thinking, "Wow, what an interesting perspective."

They're thinking, "Jeez, this person doesn't know when to stop."

Then they mentally mark you as someone who's exhausting to be around, and find reasons to invest less time with you.

I even see it on group coaching calls:

A student will ramble for 4 minutes on something that could have been answered in 30 seconds.

It’s like asking someone what time it is and being told how to build a clock.

I tell all my rambling students to write this down:

“Brevity is my bestie”.

I also remind them that being known as an over talker is like having bad breath and not even knowing it.

They’re losing sales and being avoided. I've watched this play out in every high-level room I've ever been in.

The most successful person at the table almost always speaks the least, and when they do speak, everyone leans in because they've earned that attention by not spending it on things that don't matter.

Here’s a simple test you should run for yourself.

The next time you're about to speak, ask yourself one question: is this making the conversation better, or am I just uncomfortable with the silence?

If it's the second one, don't say it.

Sit in the silence. Let it feel weird and let someone else fill it.

You'll be surprised how much more people respect you when you say less.

I even use Fathom AI to track my “time-of-talk” ratio in all my Zoomeetings, which is an awesome feature. 

I never want mine above 60%.

Just  remember: the best communicators in the world aren't the ones who have a high word count,they're the ones who make every word count.

Two ears, two eyes, to nostrils and one mouth, for a reason.

Listen more. Observe mor. Sense more. Speak less. 

Amir

PS: this meme always gets me:

Whenever you’re ready, here’s how I can help you!

1. Book a call to speak with one of our advisors about joining the Growth Only Community.
2. Join our Facebook group for Top Producing Modern Loan Officers.
3. Connect with me on social.

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